Yesterday Tiger Woods announced that he would be calling a press conference on Friday. Of course, the press went into a frenzy. One reporter said that this press conference (which involves the reading of a statement before "selected" members of the press and no questions or answers) would be a "defining moment" for Mr. Woods. That reporter is wrong. The defining moment happened for Mr. Woods when he embarked on behavior in the dark that would eventually leave a permanent damaging mark on his family and associates.
We are not defined by what we do in the light, we are defined by what we do in the dark. And, the dark, which always comes to the light, will then bear fruit in the light from the seeds planted in the dark.
What seeds do you plant in the dark? When those seeds grow and bear fruit in the light, what will we see?
The cars, homes, titles, clothes, jewelry, jobs, and all the other fixings do not define you. How did you get those things? What did you do in the dark? It matters. It matters whether you studied hard or slept with professors to get that degree. It matters for you, your family, your associates, your friends, your enemies, and your generations.
There are many people who have achieved greatness, fame and notoriety. We can learn something from their defining moments. Their defining moments rarely came from what they did in the light, they came from what the did (good or bad) in the dark.
President William Clinton’s defining moment is tied to an affair with Monica Lewinsky.
Magic Johnson’s defining moment is tied to admitting behavior which resulted in AIDS/HIV.
John Edwards’ defining moment is tied to a baby born to his mistress as his wife deals with terminal cancer.
John Ensign’s defining moment is tied to payoffs to his mistress and her husband.
Joe Wilson’s defining moment is tied to his hateful disrespect (shouting "You Lie") towards the President of the United States as he performed a his presidential duties to the American people.
Mark Sanford’s defining moment is tied to his desire to be with the love of his life (his mistress) to the point where he left his wife, children and the people of South Carolina for days so he can have sex with the mistress in Argentina.
Roger Ebert’s defining moment is tied to his decision to keep speaking (to more people than ever) now that he has no "voice" because of cancer and multiple surgeries.
Shamefully, the list of "men of God" who have engaged in destructive defining moments are too many to name here.
Defining moments leave permanent marks, whether negative or positive. Defining moments change the course of your life. The Bible is filled with defining moments of great men and women.
King David had his defining moment when God told him that because of his violence he would not build His sanctuary AND that God Himself would be a father to David’s son, Solomon. David had many instances of "check yourself" moments, but none as profound, I believe, as when God took away the one thing he wanted to do for God, and, in doing so, specifically said that He is changing the paternity of Solomon.
Jael had her defining moment when she killed Sisera in the darkness of her tent, ending years of war that great leaders could not resolve. She was called "blessed above".
Mary Magdalene had her defining moment in the darkness of dawn at the tomb of Jesus, where she waited in faith for the Man who had changed her life. She believed the words of Jesus, and for doing so, she became the first one that Jesus commanded to "GO" and "TELL".
Rahab, a prostitute, had her defining moment when she, in the dark, chose to help the men of God. She was openly rewarded with the sparing of the lives of her entire family from death and destruction.
Samson had his defining moment when he told Delilah the secret to his strength. He was destroyed openly as he died with his enemies.
When light is shined on your defining moment, what will be seen?
I find one of my favorite passages, written by King Solomon, appropriate:
Ecclesiastes 7 (The Message)
1. A good reputation is better than a fat bank account. Your death date tells more than your birth date.
2. You learn more at a funeral than at a feast— After all, that's where we'll end up. We might discover something from it.
3. Crying is better than laughing. It blotches the face but it scours the heart.
4. Sages invest themselves in hurt and grieving. Fools waste their lives in fun and games.
5. You'll get more from the rebuke of a sage than from the song and dance of fools.
6. The giggles of fools are like the crackling of twigs under the cooking pot. And like smoke.
7. Brutality stupefies even the wise and destroys the strongest heart.
8. Endings are better than beginnings. Sticking to it is better than standing out.
9. Don't be quick to fly off the handle. Anger boomerangs. You can spot a fool by the lumps on his head.
10. Don't always be asking, "Where are the good old days?" Wise folks don't ask questions like that.
11-12. Wisdom is better when it's paired with money, especially if you get both while you're still living. Double protection: wisdom and wealth! Plus this bonus: Wisdom energizes its owner.
13. Take a good look at God's work. Who could simplify and reduce Creation's curves and angles
To a plain straight line?
14. On a good day, enjoy yourself; On a bad day, examine your conscience. God arranges for both kinds of days So that we won't take anything for granted.
15-17. I've seen it all in my brief and pointless life—here a good person cut down in the middle of doing good, there a bad person living a long life of sheer evil. So don't knock yourself out being good, and don't go overboard being wise. Believe me, you won't get anything out of it. But don't press your luck by being bad, either. And don't be reckless. Why die needlessly?
18. It's best to stay in touch with both sides of an issue. A person who fears God deals responsibly with all of reality, not just a piece of it. 19. Wisdom puts more strength in one wise person than ten strong men give to a city.
20. There's not one totally good person on earth, not one who is truly pure and sinless.
21-22. Don't eavesdrop on the conversation of others. What if the gossip's about you and you'd rather not hear it? You've done that a few times, haven't you—said things behind someone's back you wouldn't say to his face?
23-25. I tested everything in my search for wisdom. I set out to be wise, but it was beyond me, far beyond me, and deep—oh so deep! Does anyone ever find it? I concentrated with all my might, studying and exploring and seeking wisdom—the meaning of life. I also wanted to identify evil and stupidity, foolishness and craziness.
26-29. One discovery: A woman can be a bitter pill to swallow, full of seductive scheming and grasping. The lucky escape her; the undiscerning get caught. At least this is my experience—what I, the Quester, have pieced together as I've tried to make sense of life. But the wisdom I've looked for I haven't found. I didn't find one man or woman in a thousand worth my while. Yet I did spot one ray of light in this murk: God made men and women true and upright; we're the ones who've made a mess of things.
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