What is a Fairy Tale? It is enchantment (bewitching, charm or spell) of magic (art of influencing events and producing marvels) in the fates (determined course of life, one’s destiny).
Marriage is not a fairy tale. It is not a spell, it is revelation. It is not about influencing events or producing marvels, but about submission and substance. It is not a destination, it is another path through life. There is nothing fatalistic about it. Nothing fatalistic can truly be enjoyed because it takes away your choice, your will...GOD NEVER TAKES AWAY OUR WILL!
We work hard on our education, our appearance, our environment, and all other things, but we are willing to leave marriage, where our spirit joins with another, up to fate? Think about that.
Get me a pen and I’d list all the guys I would love to call husband: Lenny Kravitz, Bill Gates, Howard Schultz, Ben Kingsley, my first boyfriend, Prince, and the list goes on. You can probably see what my problem is....I would have to make a decision. I don’t have to list the "cute" guys because cute is easy, but cute will not hold my interest forever. You have got to have something more than a pimple-free face. I need a brain, good attitude, ability to laugh, ability to overcome and enjoy life, a prayer life, a relationship with God other than the ability to say "now I lay me down to sleep"....you get my drift?
In this life, you must CONTEND for all things from the moment you are created. This Hollywood ideal of all things just falling into place is magical, enchanting and charming, but not real. How many times will a prince of a guy, hire a hooker, then decide he wants to marry her? Rare, unless you count certain ballers, and those jokers are no princes. Richard Gere is not standing in an alley calling your name!
You not only will CONTEND before marriage, but you will have to CONTEND to keep your union. Once you have decided on a partner, then the two of you become CONTENDERS for each other; forsaking all else. Most of us don’t want to forsake anything before the marriage, much less once we are in it. Forsaking is tough! Jesus did it for us, and marriage must reflect the love of Jesus for His bride. Simply put, it is no joke. Purity is great, but it is not enough. A perfectly clean car is useless if it is not filled up with gas; it will stay looking pretty and clean until rust sets in.
Are you ready for marriage? How is your finances? Your attitude? Your outlook on life? Your professional life? Your social life? Your homemaking skills? Your relationship with God? Why does all those matter? They do. A household will be your charge to guard. Many couples have found that when they failed to be ready for marriage, they ended up hiring hurt. The spouses should be the handmaidens and overseer of the home. Your home should be a most sacred place; the less unnecessary intrusion into that environment, the better. Out of the ten virgins, all were pure and five were ready. Five were received by their Husband. Are you ready to receive and be received?
Ruth quietly followed; she lay down to signal her availability for marriage. - Ruth 3:7
"I hate the violent dismembering of the 'one flesh' of marriage." So watch yourselves. Don't let your guard down. Don't cheat. - Malachi 2:16
Jesus said, "Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn't for everyone. Some, from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others never get asked—or accepted. And some decide not to get married for kingdom reasons. But if you're capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it." - Matthew 19:11
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor—since they're already "one" in marriage. - Ephesians 5:25
If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, doesn't have a swelled head, doesn't force itself on others, isn't always "me first," doesn't fly off the handle, doesn't keep score of the sins of others, doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end. Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled. - 1 Corinthians 13:3-10
Absolutely, Copyista. As we pray and seek God, He will enable us to make the right choices, in all things, including marriage. CONTEND!
Posted by: VineyardLioness | January 25, 2010 at 12:56 PM
This was really good. I know I need to work on a lot of stuff and this has spurred me on. I know marriage is hard work and not a fairy-tale but it is more than anyone can ever know - still it's worth it but you have to be yoked up with the right man of God and not just ANY man of God.
Posted by: Copyista.blogspot.com | January 24, 2010 at 09:12 AM